We spend significant portion of our time seeking the
approval of others. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn and what not. We are
everywhere – trying to develop a phony sense of belonging, redefining our way
of being, and, to a huge extent, seeking extrinsic recognition. Bought a pricey
phone, cooked something fancy to eat, feeling exultant with your partner? Happy?
Yes, but not happy enough, until you post online the photographs of the phone
you got, of the fancy food you cooked, and of your seemingly perfect
relationship and get likes and retweets.
Nicolaus Copernicus, a Renaissance-era astronomer and mathematician,
formulated a model of universe, according to which the Earth went around the Sun
instead of the other way around. He had had the idea long before, but it was
only after several years of working to develop the mathematical proofs that he got
assured it was true. His idea, published in his book De revolutionibus orbium coelestium (On the Revolutions of the Heavenly Spheres), was so
earth-shattering that he didn’t publish it until the year he died (in 1543).
The book was immediately withdrawn from circulation because its ideas differed
from the Bible, which made it clear that the Earth, not the Sun, was the centre
of the universe.
The Copernican Revolution revolutionised the way people, in
those days, conceived about the universe, the world, and themselves. It brought
a paradigm shift and made people acknowledge that they were no longer at the
centre of the universe.
Our behaviours and attitudes are shaped by multitude of
factors, including social, biological, psychological, and spiritual. Often,
these components form one or more types of personality disorders, including narcissistic
personality disorder.
The American Psychiatric Association’s 2013 update of the
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (popularly
known as DSM-5) has a number of criteria to identify people with narcissistic
personality disorder, i.e. the people suffering from ‘Centre of the Universe
Syndrome’. These include:
- Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
- Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
- Exaggerating your achievements and talents
- Being preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the
- Requiring constant admiration
- Expecting special favors and unquestioning compliance with your expectations
- Taking advantage of others to get what you want
- Having an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
- Being envious of others and believing others envy you
- Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner
Such people tend to believe they are of primary importance
in others’ lives or to anyone they meet. The disproportionate exposure to social
media may have also further contributed to more people being influenced by this
‘me first/me only’ attitude.
It’s harsh, but it’s spot-on: people are too self-obsessed to think about you, and you are not the centre of the universe. Sorry to burst the bubble. You are not the centre of the universe: it’s a powerful insight, but only if you accept it.
